Laying Down Roots

Don't worry Mom, It's not a real tattoo :)

Recently a good friend of mine has gone to Europe to do a summer missions trip at one of my favorite places of all time—Tauernhof Bible School in Schladming, Austria! I am so excited for him and for all that he will experience in what has become one of my spiritual homes, but I also have to admit that when I first heard he was going I felt a good amount of jealousy. Austria has been a place where I have experienced some of the best community of my life; a place where I have been molded by the Lord; and a place I hope to be able to visit again (and again and again) through the years. If my friend was going to Austria I wanted to go!!!

As I pondered my mixed feelings about my friend’s ministry in Austria I was confronted with a lesson that the Lord seems to be teaching me lately: that this is a season in which I need to stay put—at least for now. If you know me at all, you know that this is not something that comes natural for me (I have lived abroad in two different countries on 3 occasions, making up a total of almost 2 years living abroad since graduating college in 2006). But, I am learning how to trust the Lord as I obey what I believe has been His call on my life for now, to lay my roots down right where I am—in the beautiful state of Kentucky. So, here I remain for the time being, far away from my growing family and many friends, but (as I must sometimes remind myself) not far away from the heart, presence, and guidance of God. 

I suppose, then, that this blog post is my way of reminding myself to trust in God’s timing and to allow Him to use me as His vessel during my time here in Kentucky and wherever else He may lead me in the years to come. Here’s to living life to the fullest in Kentucky and beyond!

Also, I wonder if any of you reading this blog are in a season of laying down roots like me, or if you are in a season where God is calling you to pull up your roots and to go out into the world in some new way. I’d love to hear about either one, so leave a comment about your journey if you don’t mind to share!

Traffic = Tractor. One of many reasons I love where I live in Kentucky!!!

Thirteen Going on Thirty???

A few years ago I was going through some old papers and I ran across a note I had written at summer camp in 2000, marking the date and time that I gave my life to Jesus. Today, my friends, August 9th at 9:08pm I will officially enter into the teen years of my journey with Christ. I'm turning 13 again--yikes, scary...

Anyhow, as this anniversary has been approaching I have spent some time pondering the 13 years I have spent as a Christian. I know it sounds cliche, but as I reflect on that night when I surrendered my life to Jesus I can truly say that something inside of me changed. I remember that first night experiencing such an overflowing of joy and excitement and new life that I couldn't contain myself from whooping, running and jumping around like a little kid at Disneyland. But the change that took place that night continues in different forms; these past 13 years have taught me that the joy that comes through relationship with Jesus does not always translate to happy feelings. For instance, I also remember the comfort I felt from the Lord when my heart was broken; how He sustained me and comforted me with promises of hope when I was lonely and discouraged. Actually, I think it is in the moments of brokenness--when I feel so fragile and lost--that I begin to understand the depth of the change that occurred in my life just over a decade ago. That, yes, I committed my life into the care and guidance of Jesus and that I have a different hope and purpose as a result. But also that I am changed because that day in August, 2000, Jesus unreservedly committed Himself to me.

The truth of that last statement is rather incomprehensible, awe-inspiring and humbling to me. I don't think I have adequate words to follow it up with, so... on to celebrating this great anniversary! Birthday cake anyone??

August 9, 2000 after I gave my life to Jesus (I am on the left)

The note I wrote when I gave my life to Jesus, which I now have taped into my Bible

Learning to Worship Boldly

I was talking with a friend the other day about worship--in the Church and in personal arenas. We talked about how sometimes we hold back in worship services: we are afraid of being emotionally affected by a sermon or a song; we are scared to kneel down or raise our arms during worship. I don't think this experience is something that just my friend and I experience. I think that many Western Christians resist being vulnerable in settings of corporate worship. I am not judging people who don't ever raise their hands, or who never allow themselves to be moved to tears, or who don't close their eyes when they sing, or who never kneel down in church, because I have been that person. I am merely wondering if there are other people out there who feel drawn to their knees, or who want to dance before God, but, like me, are fighting against taking that step of vulnerability.

One of the rare settings in which I have felt most free to worship in any way that God was drawing me into was with a group called RAW--Real, Authentic Worship. Usually it was about 10 of us who met in a little prayer chapel every week to worship God. You could show up in your pajamas if you wanted to. You could lay down on the pews. You could bring a Scripture verse to share, or a poem, or a song. There was no right way to do things. I felt like it embodied the "come as you are" mantra that so many churches claim to express, but fail so miserably to act out. I miss that kind of worship community.

I think that the church needs a revival of sorts that propels us into the kind of worship where different expressions of devotion are not only allowed, but are welcomed. I think we need to explore more diverse possibilities for worship.

I took a Spiritual Formations class at the Seminary this year where I was challenged to step outside of my comfort zone by trying new ways of worship. I was actually surprised to find that I experienced God more deeply through some means of worship that had intimidated me before. As the Body of Christ we need to be willing to try different things like meditating on God's Word, dancing before the Lord, expressing worship through art, through nature, through stillness, or whatever means the Lord is drawing us into.

I am still working on developing the boldness to worship in the freedom of the Spirit as He leads me. It's definitely a challenge for me. But I don't think I am alone in this yearning for the awakening of new possibilities in worship. I think that's the main point: as the Church we all need to wake up to all that God has for us when we seek authentic worship, expecting God to change us. In any case, the following are some lyrics that I know I need to live into--in worship and in daily life. I think they speak loudly into this desire for an awakened, and soulful worship:

"Christ is risen from the dead, 

trampling over death by death, 

come awake, come awake, 

come and rise up from the grave.

Christ is risen from the dead, 

we are one with Him again, 

come awake, come awake, 

come and rise up from the grave. 

Oh death where is your sting?

Oh hell where is your victory?

Oh church come stand in the light, 

the glory of God has defeated the night. 

Oh death where is your sting?

Oh hell where is your victory?

Oh church come stand in the light, 

our God is not dead, He's alive He's alive!" 

--Matt Maher, "Christ Is Risen" 

"Wake up, wake up, wake up all you sleepers,

stand up, stand up, stand up all you dreamers,

hands up, hands up, hands up all believers

take up your cross

carry it all.

Here we stand our hearts are Yours.

Not our will, but Yours be done" 

 --All Sons and Daughters, "Wake Up"

Snowflakes that Stay on My Nose and Eyelashes

If there's anything I absolutely LOVE, it is the snow. And this morning I woke up to an inch or so of it covering the world outside my window! I took full advantage of a Saturday snow day and started the day out with a quick trip into town (clad in pink pajama pants and snow boots nonetheless) on the not-yet-plowed roads to drop off some library books. 

Even my p.j. pants have snowflakes on them!

Next it was on to breakfast, which included a long-savored cup of coffee, half a grapefruit, and toast with jam and cheese (if you've never tried the jam and cheese combo, you are missing out). 

 

Later in the day, after some dutiful studying of course, my roommate and I took a drive to check out the scenery. We forded a river, saw some huge and beautiful icicles on rock cliffs, and enjoyed the white-laden Wilmore area in general. 

 

 

When we got home we commenced with lunch, a movie, and then an afternoon dessert of homemade crepes!!! A while later, we decided we needed to enjoy the snow more first-hand, so we set out on foot through the neighborhood. The snow flurries were falling, and it WAS staying on our noses and eyelashes as it fell, which equals awesome. I now understand why it was one of Maria's favorite things. 

This is (obviously) not my photo. Let's avoid copyright issues :)

As we were nearing our house I noticed that all the neighborhood kids had suddenly appeared outside, making snowmen. I recognize that this is generally not a strange phenomenon: it snows, kids go out and play in the snow. Duh. But all day long I had not seen a single child out playing until 5pm when it was nearing dusk! Why weren't they out playing earlier?! Weird. Anyway, when we got home we decided that we, too, needed to make a snowman--snow woman, rather--of our own. This is when I discovered what the sudden explosion of kids outside was about. The snow was the most miraculously packable snow I have ever encountered in my life. I could have easily rolled a snowball the size of a small cow had I taken the time. 

Meet Blizzy our snow woman!

The day ended with a mishmash, yet delicious homemade dinner of cornbread, and pasta with sauteed mushrooms. Random meals are my specialty. 

Overall, it was a great day of rest, fellowship, and enjoying the slow-pace and beauty that a fresh winter snowfall brings. In my book today was a little gift from God, reminding me to reclaim the wonder of childhood, to embrace moments of stillness, and to slow down and just enjoy life. 

P.S. The best part: the forecast shows another snow day tomorrow!

The Long-Abandoned Blog!!!

It's that time of year again when the cooler weather causes me to hunker down and, consequentially, to update my long-abandoned blog!!!

Let's start with Kentucky. In many ways it is exactly what I thought it would be--there are rolling hills and horse farms just a stone's throw from my back door. People are friendly. There is at least one radio station devoted solely to bluegrass music. And it snows in the Winter!!! (Yay!!)

The beautiful country road I take to work in Wilmore

Stone bridge and fall colors in Wilmore, KY

My neighbor, the horse

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other ways Kentucky surprised me with it's up and coming urban charm in North Lexington. There are some funky cafes that fit the Portland or San Francisco mold, and a real grassroots community feel there.

Check out North Lime Coffee & Donuts facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/northlimelex

This image is taken from http://www.lanereport.com/17011/2012/12/north-lime-coffee-and-donuts/

Mural at Third Street Stuff and Coffee. Their facebook page is at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Third-Street-Stuff/160449913970762

I am doing my practicum in this part of the city this year at a community development program where I get to work with an amazing and diverse group of kids from Kindergarten through 12th grade. In short, my studies and practical work experiences through Asbury's MSW program have been really great and I am getting more and more anxious to graduate this Spring and to put my skills to work in the professional realm.

As I look toward graduation I am excited (and, to be honest, a bit overwhelmed/anxious) by all of the career/vocation possibilities. Ever since I attended a year of Torchbearers Bible school in 2007/2008 my heart has been inclined toward international missions work (I can't say it enough--Torchbearers is awesome; it changed my life!! Check out all their cool opportunities here: http://www.torchbearers.org/). My studies in social work have only continued to ignite my passion for diverse populations. At this juncture, it is my hope that I can gain a few years of social work experience while praying about taking some of those skills abroad as a missionary in the future. I don't fully understand this sense of missional calling in my life, but I am willing to seriously consider the reality of long-term missions over the next few months and years. I hope that those of you who are reading this blog will join me in praying about my vocational call to social work and missions.

Thanks for tuning in! I will try to update this thing more regularly in the future!

Bluegrass, Here I Come! (And We're Not Talking Music)

That's right. Kentucky. The land of horse farms and rolling green hills. The land of fried chicken (haha). This place will be my home for the next two years as I pursue my Master's degree in Social Work. Go figure I'd choose the school that is farthest from home. In fact, when people ask me for life updates after not seeing me for a while their first question is always, "so where are you going next?" And considering my track record this is a very valid substitute for your usual, "hey, how's it goin'?"

Overall I am excited about this next chapter in life. Just like anything good and exciting I have seen God at work in my decision to go to Kentucky. But on the flip-side I know that I will miss home, the trees, the people. Which leaves me at the place where I always seem to find myself before going on a new adventure--expectant and confident that God is at work and yet anxious and curious about what exactly He is planning to do through this crazy, globetrotting life of mine (speaking of yet another adventure, who knew 3 years ago how telling the name of this blog would be...).

To keep things interesting, here are some fun facts about Kentucky:

State Musical Instrument: Appalachian Dulcimer
State Drink: Milk
State Dance: Clogging
State Song: My Old Kentucky Home, featured below for your amusement


Basically, in future updates you should expect to see pictures of me chugging milk while clogging to the sweet sounds (wink, wink) of the Appalachian dulcimer.

Forgetting What My Life Has Cost

from Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay:

"I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
wipe away the crimson stains
dull the nails that still remain
more and more I need you now
I owe you more each passing hour
battles between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
so steal my heart; take the pain
wash my feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take my beauty take my tears
this sin soaked heart make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now take it now
serve the ones I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and blow away
i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
take my beauty take my tears
this sin soaked heart make it yours
and all the things I cannot hide
take my beauty take my tears
take my world apart
take my world apart
I pray I pray I pray
take my world apart"

I hope these lyrics get at your heart the way they've been getting to mine...

Next Steps

I was re-reading my prior blog entry and was reminded that while I was working at Tauernhof I was praying about the next step in my life. Let's be honest, I've been wondering about the next step pretty much continuously since I graduated from college. Well, it turns out I somehow failed to notice the next step until I was thousands of miles away from home, at a Bible school in the Austrian mountains (ah, timing).

As many of you know I am passionate about orphans and adoption. I am fairly convinced that I will adopt a child at some point in life. Occasionally I look up photolistings of children waiting to be adopted and pray for them by name. I even had the opportunity earlier this year to spend 3 amazing months at Grace Children's Home, an orphanage in Mexico. Not getting it yet? (I can't blame you... after all, it took me almost 5 years to figure it out). I'll spare you the brain strain and give it to you straight.

The

next

step

is.....

........

........

Graduate school!

I am hoping to go to graduate school this Fall for a Master's degree in social work (MSW)--the goal being a career in child welfare, adoptions, foster care, etc.

That said, I am in the process of applying to 6 different programs in 6 different states in the US (I looked to see if there were any programs abroad but had no luck... I guess it's time for me to stay Domestic for a while).

Where am I applying you ask? The schools in the running are:
San Jose State University (California)
Portland State University (Oregon)
University of Kansas (Kansas, duh)
University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign (Illinois)
Asbury University (Kentucky)
Boston College (Massachusetts)

I am excited to pursue this long-awaited next step and appreciate prayers for the application process.

Update Long Overdue!

I'm going to try to make this short...

My post a few months back about being in the Spring of life and just beginning to discover things about life has been blooming. This last month I:

*Have made friends with the Summer Program students who are amazing, loving, and encouraging--a great change from Spring school where I felt pretty lonely a lot of the time.

*Have been learning the difference between trying to love people well on my own versus loving Jesus and allowing Him to love others through me. When I try I fail... miserably. When I focus on just loving God it seems like there is more love and joy than I can contain. That has been really cool to see in the developing friendships I have here.

*Have been pondering the possibility of going back to school for a Masters of Social Work Masters Degree so that I can work in International adoptions and foster care

*Have had the opportunity to go summit 3 mountains and spend 6 days on the trail where I have experienced more community with the students and some great times enjoying God's creation here in the Alps (one of the mountains was 3,000 meters high! About 9000 ft!)

However, even while things are crazy in bloom in my life there are still struggles along the way. At this point in my time here at Bible school, I feel a bit restless. I have discovered aspects about missions that I like and aspects I don't like and in a lot of ways I feel ready to leave this place and start taking some new steps into the directions God is laying out for me. That said, I would appreciate prayers for contentment and endurance for my remaining time here. And also prayers for continued direction for whatever the "next steps" may be for me. One interesting message from one of the lectures that I attended here... the lecturer said that in life it will often be the mundane moments that are the most difficult to get through, not the crises or the huge disappointments, but the everyday. I think that is so true for my life. In the really hard times I can't deny God's presence, but in the routine of life it is easy to forget about His faithfulness. My prayer for me and whoever is reading this is that we can experience the fulness of life and joy in Christ even when we are cleaning the bathroom, cooking dinner, brushing our teeth, etc. etc.

There is so much more that I would love to tell, but I think I've reached my quota for the day. I'll try more frequent and shorter posts again in the future :) Thanks for all your support as I learn how to live with Christ and serve with Him here in Austria!

Some Things I'm Learning

Alright, alright, I admit it. After all my traveling to different countries and being away at University, etc. I am finally, maybe for the first time, experiencing...

homesickness

I honestly never thought it would happen to me. I mean, when I am away from home I usually realize some things that I really appreciate about where I come from. But apart from that I have always been too busy with where I am away from home to be too homesick.

But, as always, God has come and met me in the midst of my very first bout of homesickness--just like He always does, and like I never quite expect Him to (if I'm honest). For instance, as I have been missing home, God has been confronting me with questions about my life and about my idea of "home."

I led a devotion for the staff here about a week ago, and the topic that I felt like I should share came out of one of my biggest "fears" in life: settling down and living in one place for "the rest of my life." Recently, God's prompting to me has come out of Nehemiah's story in the Bible. How his city was in destruction. People were broken. The city wall was broken. And Nehemiah's first response to all this news of brokenness was to sit down and to weep before God. As I thought about my fear of staying an undetermined amount of time in one place I thought that maybe a deeper fear I have is that then I would see the broken places. See beyond the surface of the drug scene in Santa Cruz. Begin to see the individual lives that are falling apart. See a city that I love without my rose tinted lenses of being a continent away and longing to be home. There's a lot more in Nehemiah's story that is speaking to me right now (if you want to hear more email me for the sake of this already really long blog). And through it all, God is asking me if I am willing to go somewhere (home or not) and stay put for a while. He is asking me if I, like Nehemiah, am willing to see the broken places and to mourn over them--with Him. And, like Nehemiah, if I am willing to take my sorrows over that place and move to action in an effort to restore that place.

Part of me says, "yes! I would love to move back home and to really get connected there, lay down some roots and see how God will use me. I am willing!" While another part says, "I love Santa Cruz, but my heart is beating more for the poor areas of the world." Still another part says, "I would love to move back home--as long as I can still wear the rose colored glasses and not get too close to the brokenness." So, God is speaking to me about home. And, I think He will continue to reveal things to me while I am here in Austria. And, to be honest, it has been hard being here. Nothing like what I did in Mexico. I loved the ministry there, and feel disconnected from the ministry here. But even in that God is revealing things to me. Like, what types of ministry I don't want to do long term. While I am thankful for the direction, I have also been asking Him why He has me here so long though when I seem to know already that this ministry is not the one for me... I guess we'll see!

One more cool way God has worked recently: the other day I was feeling a bit down and just asked God if He would send me a friend. I was on the campus here and thought that maybe I'd see a student sitting outside or a staff member to chat with. But nobody was really around. So I came in to my computer and got on facebook. Then, not a minute after I was on facebook, one of my really close lifelong friends got on and sent me a message. I was excited to hear from him, but didn't think anything of it until the end of our conversation when I remembered my prayer and told him that I had prayed for a friend and God had given me him. Then, this friend of mine told me that about 5 minutes before we talked he had prayed the same prayer! I think this is so incredible and awesome how God works in such small, but significant ways. And I was only thinking of myself when I prayed for a friend. But God used the situation to show that He is caring very specifically for me and for this friend of mine. To me it was a real blessing too, because God could have given me a conversation with a student here who I don't know that well. We could have talked about the weather. Or about a recent lecture. Which would have been good and an answer to prayer still the same. But God always chooses something better than I can think. He gave me a friend that knows me well. A friend that knows where I come from (healing the homesickness).

Cliff notes version of this blog entry and of my status in Austria:

God is good and so much bigger than I can begin to understand.

Another Good Song I'm Enjoying Lately

On Fire by Switchfoot

They tell you where you need to go

tell you when you need to leave

They tell you what you need to know

tell you who you need to be

Everything inside you knows there's more than what you've heard

There's so much more than empty conversations

filled with empty words

And you're on fire when He's near you

You're on fire when He speaks

You're on fire burning at

these mysteries

You give me one more time around

give me one more chance to see

You give me everything you are

give me one more chance to be near you

When everything inside me looks like everything I hate

You are the hope I have for change

You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire when You're near me

I'm on fire when You speak

I'm on fire burning at

these mysteries

mysteries

mysteries

You're on fire

You're on fire

I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before

and I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge

And I'm on fire when You're near me

I'm on fire when You speak

I'm on fire burning at

these mysteries

About Time for an Update...

Update time!

So, the students have been here for two weeks now (I think??? I lose track of time here...). It's been really fun and quite busy getting to know some of them. There are 70 students from Canada, the US, England, Costa Rica, Germany and Switzerland. It's awesome to have so many different cultures meshing together.

Actually, though, it is kind of difficult to really develop friendships with the students while I am serving here as staff. Perhaps I am meant to just serve as more of a mentor figure, but I was hoping to make some good friends with students as well. It hasn't been that long and friendship takes a while to develop... but I find myself losing hope and maybe even losing a bit of motivation to develop friendships. On the other hand, I am making some friends with the other "kitchen girls" as we are called :) Which is great and a sure answer to prayer. And I realize, also, that God will use me in the lives of the students. I am actually helping to lead a family group here of 7 students. We have met once, but our group really connected and I am excited to see how God will work in those students' lives. We have one girl from Germany, one Swiss guy, maybe 2 Canadians and 3 Americans. I am really thankful for that time to meet in a smaller group for Bible study and "family" time.

Okay, I'll end with a funny story. So, today I was vacuuming in the main house. I was responsible for two floors, so I had been vacuuming for quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about it. Then all of a sudden the vaccum handle slipped out of my hands and behind me, but I was able to do some sort of ballet looking move to prevent it from falling. It felt really graceful looking and I had the feeling that if it had been filmed it would have looked pretty awesome. So... maybe that story isn't really so exciting. But when you're cleaning all day long you find strange things to be entertaining :)

Thank you all for your prayers! Because of them I can take joy in my suave vacuuming skills! But really, I have felt very encouraged and I am positive it is because of all your prayers back home. Please continue to pray that I may listen for God's leading with my free time here. And that I can invest in some of the students' lives and get over my lack of motivation to build relationships with students who are just going to leave in a month and a half.

Arrivals!

The students started to arrive yesterday and it feels so good to finally see some of the faces of those I will be serving here for the next months.

Actually, the other day I asked myself, "what am I doing here?" (Pastor Randy, I think it was you who said I would probably ask myself this question... didn't take long did it?) But then I had to smile at myself, because isn't that how the Christian life should be? Where even we begin to ask ourselves "what am I doing serving the Lord in this crazy and 'non-sensical' way He has called me?" Not that I think I've got the Christian life all figured out. To be honest, so far it has been challenging to be here. Lonely. Confusing. A lot of my not-so-favorite work. But it's becoming a lot of fun too--especially, as I said, with the arrival of the students. It's been a lot of learning what it looks like to trust and believe that God has me here for a reason. A lot of new faces. The beginnings of some new friends. And it's only been two weeks!

As I am meeting the students and really diving into the ministry I've been called to here I am praying for an open heart toward each of the students, for grace and patience with them and with my work duties, for God to work in my heart and in my hands while I am here.

Lord, you are the giver and the sustainer of the fullest life I could ever know. May You be glorified. Amen.

My Spring

My first week here in Austria has been good so far. I have done a lot of cleaning--toilets, showers, rooms, dishes (don't worry, not in that order), and some cooking. The students are not here yet and won't arrive until the 25th, and most of the other staff is on vacation, so it has been quiet. Which has been nice, but also a bit lonely. At the same time it has been kind of nice to settle in here in the peaceful quiet. To get to know those who are here slowly. To think about why I am here doing what I am doing. To watch as the Austrian Alpine Spring season is blooming before my eyes.

Actually, in just this first week the trees have gone from twigs to the beginnings of some really beautiful purple blossoms. Each day I find that I am excited to walk out onto the lawn to see how much the buds have opened up overnight. But in some way I feel a kind of aching, or maybe it's even gratitude in a sense, as I watch Spring taking shape. Even though it is so stunning, there is something that gets me about this unveiling of Spring after Winter. In some ways I suppose I can see myself in the trees. See how before I knew God I was like a withered twig, yet He took me in my ugliness and made me beautiful. Gave me life and started growing me little by little. I dunno. Maybe I am in a sort of Spring season in my life. Where I am finding out what I was made for. And am just starting to show it.

Austria at Last

As you tech-savvy readers may already know (that is if we are friends on Facebook) I made it to Salzburg! My flights went quite smoothly... actually more than smoothly. Before I travel lately I make sure to toss up a prayer letting God know that if He wants me to talk with someone about Him while I am in transit I will do it. Well, this time around I couldn't get on any mode of public transit without some sort of conversation about faith. Actually, that's a lie... on one bus ride I didn't talk to anybody because they all only spoke German, which I as of yet do NOT speak. Anyway, it was really neat. I guess I hadn't expected God to answer my prayer so fervently.

I'll just share one of these convos so as not to have a novel of a blog entry: On my first plane ride I got to talking with a German man about all kinds of things--politics, the German language, philosophy--and then it came around to "religion." Which is a word I really don't like to use especially with non-believers, but if you want to hear more about that ask me sometime. The point is, the conversation came to the point of this guy asking me how it was that I came to believe in Jesus. So, I told him. Right there on the plane. Which is really just an everyday sort of thing when I think of it. But at the same time it's a big step for me to share what I believe. I am not sharing this to toot my own horn. The guy didn't give his life to Christ as I was talking with him. I think he's still fairly set on not adhering to any religion or anything of the sort. But for me it was a neat test of my faith. A good personal checkpoint to ask myself if I really know how to explain what I believe to someone who doesn't know the church lingo. And a good reminder that what I pray for I better mean!

Also I wanna say thanks to those of you praying for me at home. At church on Sunday one of my requests was to listen for God's guidance during my time here. And I've asked other friends to pray for me to be bold about my faith. And, whaddaya know! God is wasting no time! Please keep praying that I continue to listen for and act upon guidance from the Lord. Your prayers are doing big things! And, let's pray for the three people I got to chat with that God would continue to plant little seeds about Jesus in their lives and that they would be receptive to these things.

See To It, Brothers

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts…

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the livings God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it its called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness…

Today, if you hear his voice,
Do not harden your hearts.”
-Hebrews 3:7,12-13,15

This is something that I long for in the community of believers. I long for us to hold one another accountable for our unbelief. I want someone to come alongside me and to correct me when my actions are causing me to turn away from God—whether that means I am ignoring a homeless person on the street or not doing a job at 100% effort or even not conversing with God on a regular basis. I want people to ask the hard questions “are you living fully for Christ?” “Have you sinned against God or against another person lately?” “Are you turning towards Him today or away?” And I think the Bible makes it clear here that I, we, need this. We need to be asking and to be asked. We need to come together to work against the lures of sin. And we need to be listening for the voice of the Holy Spirit and not ignoring his leading in our lives.

Breakfast Conversations

This morning (Thursday) at the breakfast table, one of the girls sits down next to me and asks me, “It’s true that everyone farts, right?” I love life here.

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender all? What is the everything I can give to God and let Him control?

My money
My time
My clothes
My music
My thoughts
My work
My future
My past
My hopes
My things
My my my my which was never mine in the first place.

New Shoes

Today (Tuesday) I went with one of the other Tias to visit a nearby family and to bring them some items for which they had a need. The family consisted of a woman, her husband, their two daughters and a baby on the way. We were bringing them a mattress, some food and some shoes for the girls. It was a strange experience, but pretty cool too. This family lives in one of the newer developments here in Tijuana, and from the outside the houses look pretty nice. But then this family didn’t even have a bed or shoes for their kids. I don’t get it. And I know the same thing happens in the US. That people seem to have things all together but when you are invited into their lives and into their homes you find that they really don’t have much.
I think it’s kind of a spiritual analogy too. That we are always so focused on being okay, on being and appearing happy and well taken care of, but on the inside things can be in turmoil. And there is a certain aspect of relief and humbling that takes place when we invite others into this interior life that is not so nice as it seemed to be from the outside. Especially when we let God in to give us what we need. And when we can receive from Him what we need and not be too proud to dismiss His overwhelming generosity.
Anyway, the girls were 8 and 10 years old, were beautiful, and were thrilled to have their very own pair of shoes. It’s another good reminder that I have sooo much more than I need and that in my life I really haven’t had a lot of instances when I really had to rely on God to provide for my needs.

Good Moments

Making Memories in Mexico

• Walking on the beach with some kids who collected so many shells in their pockets that their pants hardly stayed on!
• Calling the little one Gordita
• Sleepover with the older girls in my room—we fit four of us on the floor where only two should have fit!!!
• Tasty smoothies made from milk, bananas, oatmeal and vanilla. Yum!
• Playing Barbies in my room and making dance videos with Cesia—I wish I could take her home with me!
• Making pancakes with chocolate chips—some of the girls helped me, but they turned out a bit burnt and weren’t very good 
• Singing worship songs at church in Spanish… they sound much prettier that way