Laying Down Roots

Don't worry Mom, It's not a real tattoo :)

Recently a good friend of mine has gone to Europe to do a summer missions trip at one of my favorite places of all time—Tauernhof Bible School in Schladming, Austria! I am so excited for him and for all that he will experience in what has become one of my spiritual homes, but I also have to admit that when I first heard he was going I felt a good amount of jealousy. Austria has been a place where I have experienced some of the best community of my life; a place where I have been molded by the Lord; and a place I hope to be able to visit again (and again and again) through the years. If my friend was going to Austria I wanted to go!!!

As I pondered my mixed feelings about my friend’s ministry in Austria I was confronted with a lesson that the Lord seems to be teaching me lately: that this is a season in which I need to stay put—at least for now. If you know me at all, you know that this is not something that comes natural for me (I have lived abroad in two different countries on 3 occasions, making up a total of almost 2 years living abroad since graduating college in 2006). But, I am learning how to trust the Lord as I obey what I believe has been His call on my life for now, to lay my roots down right where I am—in the beautiful state of Kentucky. So, here I remain for the time being, far away from my growing family and many friends, but (as I must sometimes remind myself) not far away from the heart, presence, and guidance of God. 

I suppose, then, that this blog post is my way of reminding myself to trust in God’s timing and to allow Him to use me as His vessel during my time here in Kentucky and wherever else He may lead me in the years to come. Here’s to living life to the fullest in Kentucky and beyond!

Also, I wonder if any of you reading this blog are in a season of laying down roots like me, or if you are in a season where God is calling you to pull up your roots and to go out into the world in some new way. I’d love to hear about either one, so leave a comment about your journey if you don’t mind to share!

Traffic = Tractor. One of many reasons I love where I live in Kentucky!!!

Thirteen Going on Thirty???

A few years ago I was going through some old papers and I ran across a note I had written at summer camp in 2000, marking the date and time that I gave my life to Jesus. Today, my friends, August 9th at 9:08pm I will officially enter into the teen years of my journey with Christ. I'm turning 13 again--yikes, scary...

Anyhow, as this anniversary has been approaching I have spent some time pondering the 13 years I have spent as a Christian. I know it sounds cliche, but as I reflect on that night when I surrendered my life to Jesus I can truly say that something inside of me changed. I remember that first night experiencing such an overflowing of joy and excitement and new life that I couldn't contain myself from whooping, running and jumping around like a little kid at Disneyland. But the change that took place that night continues in different forms; these past 13 years have taught me that the joy that comes through relationship with Jesus does not always translate to happy feelings. For instance, I also remember the comfort I felt from the Lord when my heart was broken; how He sustained me and comforted me with promises of hope when I was lonely and discouraged. Actually, I think it is in the moments of brokenness--when I feel so fragile and lost--that I begin to understand the depth of the change that occurred in my life just over a decade ago. That, yes, I committed my life into the care and guidance of Jesus and that I have a different hope and purpose as a result. But also that I am changed because that day in August, 2000, Jesus unreservedly committed Himself to me.

The truth of that last statement is rather incomprehensible, awe-inspiring and humbling to me. I don't think I have adequate words to follow it up with, so... on to celebrating this great anniversary! Birthday cake anyone??

August 9, 2000 after I gave my life to Jesus (I am on the left)

The note I wrote when I gave my life to Jesus, which I now have taped into my Bible

Learning to Worship Boldly

I was talking with a friend the other day about worship--in the Church and in personal arenas. We talked about how sometimes we hold back in worship services: we are afraid of being emotionally affected by a sermon or a song; we are scared to kneel down or raise our arms during worship. I don't think this experience is something that just my friend and I experience. I think that many Western Christians resist being vulnerable in settings of corporate worship. I am not judging people who don't ever raise their hands, or who never allow themselves to be moved to tears, or who don't close their eyes when they sing, or who never kneel down in church, because I have been that person. I am merely wondering if there are other people out there who feel drawn to their knees, or who want to dance before God, but, like me, are fighting against taking that step of vulnerability.

One of the rare settings in which I have felt most free to worship in any way that God was drawing me into was with a group called RAW--Real, Authentic Worship. Usually it was about 10 of us who met in a little prayer chapel every week to worship God. You could show up in your pajamas if you wanted to. You could lay down on the pews. You could bring a Scripture verse to share, or a poem, or a song. There was no right way to do things. I felt like it embodied the "come as you are" mantra that so many churches claim to express, but fail so miserably to act out. I miss that kind of worship community.

I think that the church needs a revival of sorts that propels us into the kind of worship where different expressions of devotion are not only allowed, but are welcomed. I think we need to explore more diverse possibilities for worship.

I took a Spiritual Formations class at the Seminary this year where I was challenged to step outside of my comfort zone by trying new ways of worship. I was actually surprised to find that I experienced God more deeply through some means of worship that had intimidated me before. As the Body of Christ we need to be willing to try different things like meditating on God's Word, dancing before the Lord, expressing worship through art, through nature, through stillness, or whatever means the Lord is drawing us into.

I am still working on developing the boldness to worship in the freedom of the Spirit as He leads me. It's definitely a challenge for me. But I don't think I am alone in this yearning for the awakening of new possibilities in worship. I think that's the main point: as the Church we all need to wake up to all that God has for us when we seek authentic worship, expecting God to change us. In any case, the following are some lyrics that I know I need to live into--in worship and in daily life. I think they speak loudly into this desire for an awakened, and soulful worship:

"Christ is risen from the dead, 

trampling over death by death, 

come awake, come awake, 

come and rise up from the grave.

Christ is risen from the dead, 

we are one with Him again, 

come awake, come awake, 

come and rise up from the grave. 

Oh death where is your sting?

Oh hell where is your victory?

Oh church come stand in the light, 

the glory of God has defeated the night. 

Oh death where is your sting?

Oh hell where is your victory?

Oh church come stand in the light, 

our God is not dead, He's alive He's alive!" 

--Matt Maher, "Christ Is Risen" 

"Wake up, wake up, wake up all you sleepers,

stand up, stand up, stand up all you dreamers,

hands up, hands up, hands up all believers

take up your cross

carry it all.

Here we stand our hearts are Yours.

Not our will, but Yours be done" 

 --All Sons and Daughters, "Wake Up"

Snowflakes that Stay on My Nose and Eyelashes

If there's anything I absolutely LOVE, it is the snow. And this morning I woke up to an inch or so of it covering the world outside my window! I took full advantage of a Saturday snow day and started the day out with a quick trip into town (clad in pink pajama pants and snow boots nonetheless) on the not-yet-plowed roads to drop off some library books. 

Even my p.j. pants have snowflakes on them!

Next it was on to breakfast, which included a long-savored cup of coffee, half a grapefruit, and toast with jam and cheese (if you've never tried the jam and cheese combo, you are missing out). 

 

Later in the day, after some dutiful studying of course, my roommate and I took a drive to check out the scenery. We forded a river, saw some huge and beautiful icicles on rock cliffs, and enjoyed the white-laden Wilmore area in general. 

 

 

When we got home we commenced with lunch, a movie, and then an afternoon dessert of homemade crepes!!! A while later, we decided we needed to enjoy the snow more first-hand, so we set out on foot through the neighborhood. The snow flurries were falling, and it WAS staying on our noses and eyelashes as it fell, which equals awesome. I now understand why it was one of Maria's favorite things. 

This is (obviously) not my photo. Let's avoid copyright issues :)

As we were nearing our house I noticed that all the neighborhood kids had suddenly appeared outside, making snowmen. I recognize that this is generally not a strange phenomenon: it snows, kids go out and play in the snow. Duh. But all day long I had not seen a single child out playing until 5pm when it was nearing dusk! Why weren't they out playing earlier?! Weird. Anyway, when we got home we decided that we, too, needed to make a snowman--snow woman, rather--of our own. This is when I discovered what the sudden explosion of kids outside was about. The snow was the most miraculously packable snow I have ever encountered in my life. I could have easily rolled a snowball the size of a small cow had I taken the time. 

Meet Blizzy our snow woman!

The day ended with a mishmash, yet delicious homemade dinner of cornbread, and pasta with sauteed mushrooms. Random meals are my specialty. 

Overall, it was a great day of rest, fellowship, and enjoying the slow-pace and beauty that a fresh winter snowfall brings. In my book today was a little gift from God, reminding me to reclaim the wonder of childhood, to embrace moments of stillness, and to slow down and just enjoy life. 

P.S. The best part: the forecast shows another snow day tomorrow!

The Long-Abandoned Blog!!!

It's that time of year again when the cooler weather causes me to hunker down and, consequentially, to update my long-abandoned blog!!!

Let's start with Kentucky. In many ways it is exactly what I thought it would be--there are rolling hills and horse farms just a stone's throw from my back door. People are friendly. There is at least one radio station devoted solely to bluegrass music. And it snows in the Winter!!! (Yay!!)

The beautiful country road I take to work in Wilmore

Stone bridge and fall colors in Wilmore, KY

My neighbor, the horse

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other ways Kentucky surprised me with it's up and coming urban charm in North Lexington. There are some funky cafes that fit the Portland or San Francisco mold, and a real grassroots community feel there.

Check out North Lime Coffee & Donuts facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/northlimelex

This image is taken from http://www.lanereport.com/17011/2012/12/north-lime-coffee-and-donuts/

Mural at Third Street Stuff and Coffee. Their facebook page is at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Third-Street-Stuff/160449913970762

I am doing my practicum in this part of the city this year at a community development program where I get to work with an amazing and diverse group of kids from Kindergarten through 12th grade. In short, my studies and practical work experiences through Asbury's MSW program have been really great and I am getting more and more anxious to graduate this Spring and to put my skills to work in the professional realm.

As I look toward graduation I am excited (and, to be honest, a bit overwhelmed/anxious) by all of the career/vocation possibilities. Ever since I attended a year of Torchbearers Bible school in 2007/2008 my heart has been inclined toward international missions work (I can't say it enough--Torchbearers is awesome; it changed my life!! Check out all their cool opportunities here: http://www.torchbearers.org/). My studies in social work have only continued to ignite my passion for diverse populations. At this juncture, it is my hope that I can gain a few years of social work experience while praying about taking some of those skills abroad as a missionary in the future. I don't fully understand this sense of missional calling in my life, but I am willing to seriously consider the reality of long-term missions over the next few months and years. I hope that those of you who are reading this blog will join me in praying about my vocational call to social work and missions.

Thanks for tuning in! I will try to update this thing more regularly in the future!

Bluegrass, Here I Come! (And We're Not Talking Music)

That's right. Kentucky. The land of horse farms and rolling green hills. The land of fried chicken (haha). This place will be my home for the next two years as I pursue my Master's degree in Social Work. Go figure I'd choose the school that is farthest from home. In fact, when people ask me for life updates after not seeing me for a while their first question is always, "so where are you going next?" And considering my track record this is a very valid substitute for your usual, "hey, how's it goin'?"

Overall I am excited about this next chapter in life. Just like anything good and exciting I have seen God at work in my decision to go to Kentucky. But on the flip-side I know that I will miss home, the trees, the people. Which leaves me at the place where I always seem to find myself before going on a new adventure--expectant and confident that God is at work and yet anxious and curious about what exactly He is planning to do through this crazy, globetrotting life of mine (speaking of yet another adventure, who knew 3 years ago how telling the name of this blog would be...).

To keep things interesting, here are some fun facts about Kentucky:

State Musical Instrument: Appalachian Dulcimer
State Drink: Milk
State Dance: Clogging
State Song: My Old Kentucky Home, featured below for your amusement


Basically, in future updates you should expect to see pictures of me chugging milk while clogging to the sweet sounds (wink, wink) of the Appalachian dulcimer.

Forgetting What My Life Has Cost

from Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay:

"I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
wipe away the crimson stains
dull the nails that still remain
more and more I need you now
I owe you more each passing hour
battles between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
so steal my heart; take the pain
wash my feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take my beauty take my tears
this sin soaked heart make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now take it now
serve the ones I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and blow away
i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
take my beauty take my tears
this sin soaked heart make it yours
and all the things I cannot hide
take my beauty take my tears
take my world apart
take my world apart
I pray I pray I pray
take my world apart"

I hope these lyrics get at your heart the way they've been getting to mine...